After The Storm....

It's been ten months today. I am still amazed by the peace and love that Christ is granting me. I have met so many people over the last several months that have lost their spouse too and if not a spouse, someone they loved dearly. Although I would not wish this upon anyone, it is good that I have met people who understand me and I them. I never really knew pain before last March. At least not this kind of pain. I still have my ups and downs, but I find myself smiling more than crying. Someone once described the experience of death like the waves of the ocean. I would agree. This is what my ocean looks like:

In the beginning it was a hurricane and I constantly took one beating wave after the next. I grasped for air in between each wave, but they were so close together I was barely surviving. I wondered how long I could put up this fight. I had never been so tired before in all my life. The hurricane subsided, but the waves were still raging. I was grasping more air, but my body was tired of fighting. I wondered if the storm would ever calm and how long it would take. The storm is calming, but I can see dark clouds moving in and another bad storm is on the way (anniversary, holidays, birthday). I can see it coming so I must prepare. It wasn't as bad as I expected, I cleared that wave only to be knocked down the next day by the one I didn't see coming (a song on the radio, your name on a piece of mail, the message someone left for you). The storms are growing further and further apart and a big wave still hits me every now and then, but I am learning how to ride it out and eventually I will make it to shore. I will look back at the ocean that gave me the beating of my life only to see the most beautiful sunset that could ever exist.

I know God has great plans for me. My God was with me then, my God is with me now, my God is with me always :)